I just bought me a great long ticket
I'm gonna use it at 4 P.M.
So you can call your secret love
And break the news to him

You thought your little romance
Was on the strict Q.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.
Divorce me C.O.D.

I won't be around
To hear you cry
I'm Texas bound
And by and by

You can reach me down in Dallas
A general delivery
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.
Divorce me C.O.D.

There's gonna come a day, girl
When you'll be feelin' blue
You'll can't pay your little old bill
With a big old I.O.U.

This dynamite you're playin' with
May be T.N.T.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q.
Divorce me C.O.D.

No need to fall
Down on your knees
'Cause I all I know
Are my ABC

I ain't no college professor
I ain't got no P.H.D.
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q
Divorce me C.O.D