We'll be laughin' when the Walmarts hit the fan
While everyone is walkin' dead, we'll run Zombieland

When I was in the fifth grade a kid named Walker (yeah)
Punched me in the gut, then he shoved me in a locker
One day, I'll be wearin' me a ear to ear grin
When he's bangin' on the door screamin', "Let me in"
My ex best friend, let's call her Regina
Talked a lot of trash about me back in middle school theater
So when she's beggin' for the Aquafina in my freezer
I'ma feed her to the dead and then I think I'll watch 'em eat her 'cause
You shouldn't never fuck with my boy (my boy)
You shouldn't never fuck with my girl (my girl)
You're all out of luck 'cause you're about to be so fucked at the end of the world

I can't wait for the apocalypse 'cause I know we survive (I know we survive)
Doomsday sounds ridiculously fun when we're the only ones alive
Baby, it's you and me versus all these brain dead NPC's (all these NPC's)
When the box we created and the aliens invade us, gonna be a pretty funny scene
So bring on the earthquakes, bring on the floods
I ain't afraid of nothin' because
Darlin', we'll be just fine
My apocalypse are yours and your apocalypse are mine
We'll be laughin' when the Walmarts hit the fan (Walmarts hit the fan)
And while everyone is walkin' dead, we'll run Zombieland (cute, yeah)

I feel bad for your ex-girlfriend, this bunker's full, sorry, Kate
I feel bad for your ex-boyfriend, I think his name was Zombie bait
I feel bad for the girl who left you all alone
'Cause I'ma save the dog, but the bitch is all alone
I feel bad for the dude who broke your heart
'Cause there's only room for two on this ark
I'll be on my "I Am Legend" shit, you'll be the Will to my Smith
You're the Smith to my Wesson, on my hip
On my arm, you're the Armae to my Geddon
I don't know what everybody's dreadin', ha

I can't wait for the apocalypse 'cause I know we survive (I know we survive)
Doomsday sounds ridiculously fun when we're the only ones alive
Baby, it's you and me versus all these brain dead NPC's (all these NPC's)
When the box we created and the aliens invade us, gonna be a pretty funny scene
So bring on the earthquakes, bring on the floods, I ain't afraid of nothin' because
Darlin', we'll be just fine
My apocalypse are yours and your apocalypse are mine
We'll be laughin' when the Walmarts hit the fan (Walmarts hit the fan)
And while everyone is walkin' dead, we'll run Zombieland