(One, two, three)

If you're happy someone went behind your back
And cheated on you with another snack
But you never did the dirty
So you didn't have to worry
When you found out later that they got the

If you're happy that your gut was speaking facts
And it told you not to do it, it's a trap
So you said, "I'll see ya later"
Rather be a masturbater
Then you heard the alligator had the

If you're happy that you kept it in your pants
'Cause someone that you liked had other plans
Don't be sad you didn't pull it
Just be glad you dodged a bullet
You never got the
So clap your hands