I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I hit with a power mower
One leg is missing the other is gone
One leg is scattered all over the lawn
No use complaining, the one leg remaining
Is spinning on the car-port floor
That's why I'm looking over
My dead dog Rover
That I hit with a power mower

I'm squirting over my girl's pullover
That she left on the bedroom floor
I got excited and when I withdrew
I hit the curtains and bedside lamp too
In my elation my ejjculation
Went and filled up the dressing table drawer
That's why I'm squirting over my girl's pullover
She left on the bedroom floor

Well I got run over by a white Landrover
That was driven by an officer of the law
She was a Sergeant from Paddington nick
She seemed quite friendly so I showed her my dick
Unable to function I used her truncheon
And soon she was yelling out for more
So I got my leg over in a white Landrover
That was driven by an officer of the law

Now she's my baby...
Driven by an officer of the law
I don't mean maybe...
Driven by an officer of the law

Gordon the gopher
he wanked on the sofa
One mornin' on kids channel 4
He fucked Gaby Roslin
He Fucked Zig and Zag
And Nobby the sheep had a vigorous shag
He stuffed up the stoppers
Of several teeny boppers
He was up it with a puppet on the floor
Then he got his leg over
Martina Navratilova
Which no-one had managed before