I went to church on Sunday, I swung my chariot low
Reached up to kiss the deacon, he said "You'd better go"
Trouble, I'm in trouble with him
Trouble's where I'm going
Trouble's the only place I've ever been

Let's buy a watermelon, swallow all the seeds
Forget what Mama told us, do everything we please
Trouble, trouble again
Trouble's where we're going
Trouble's the only place we've ever been

Let's pour a little whiskey, drink a little gin
Listen to Merle Haggard like he's loving me again
Trouble, I'm even in trouble with him
Trouble's where I'm going
Trouble's the only place I've ever been

Let's turn off the TV, I'm tired of CNN
Let's throw a little party, invite some sinners in
Trouble, trouble again
Trouble's where we're going
Trouble's the only place we've ever been

I'll paint your toenails baby, you paint my toenails too
We'll take a walk down Main Street and watch what people do
Trouble, let's get in trouble with them
Trouble's where we're going
Trouble's the only place we've ever been

There's people building prisons for people like you and me
Some people just can't stand people like us being free
Trouble, what's trouble with them
Trouble's where we're heading
Trouble's the only place we've ever been

Sooner or later, darling, everybody's gotta go
Let's you and me leave early, get a seat on the first row
Trouble, trouble again
Trouble's where we're going
Trouble's the only place we've ever been