(Slajidi, turn me up)

Bitch, I'm Jesus, I turned water into pee-pee
Drunk as fuck, I was supposed to be the DD
Man, I have beef with the people that make Reese's
Rather get a mouthful of the crackhead's feces
No makeup on? Bitch, you look like a man tonight
Fuck toilet paper, I just spit on my hand and wipe
I just beat up a cripple, he had no hands to fight
Acted gay in Chick-fil-A and got banned for life

In Chick-fil-A with the chicken
This ain't no KFC but it's finger-lickin'
My momma bought a house, it ain't got no kitchen
Why the fuck I'm always mopping? 'Cause I stay slippin'
I got glue on my hands, I got glue hands
Kick the fuck out a nigga like Jackie Chan
This nigga never growing up, he Peter Pan
Bitch, I feel like Goku, going Super Saiyan

Man, I'll box a crippled nigga any day, I won't back down
At the crib butt booty naked watching SmackDown
My white friend said, "Nigga", he identify as black now
My dick half-black and half-white, it's like a fat cow
My granny told me she the number one plug, so I pulled hers
Butt-naked at an NBA game, I'm watching Bulls Spurs
I got a jacket for my cock and my balls made out of wool fur
I got a PhD for swinging this cock, I went to school first

Take a sick midget's pills and place the meds high (What?)
No Hellcat, fart in my face and give me redeye
Gotta confess this and just get it out my head
I farted at a funeral and blamed it on the dead guy

It was true, I watched his fart come out his basket
He blamed the dead guy and then they all went to the casket
He was dead as shit, I don't really think he did it
Then I looked back at Alex, he was on the table shitting

They say, "How'd you know I was Dominican?" Those tight pants
They say, "Wanna smash?" I'm exclusive to my right hand
They say, "Pray to God before you sleep and say goodnight, man"
That's why a statue of myself is on the nightstand

Feel like Craig, 'bout to hit Deebo with a brick
It's Friday, so you know it's payday
It's Friday, I'm trying to have it my way
Because it's Friday

Bitch, I'm Jesus, I turned water into pee-pee
Drunk as fuck, I was supposed to be the DD
Man, I have beef with the people that make Reese's
Rather get a mouthful of the crackhead's feces
No makeup on? Bitch, you look like a man tonight
Fuck toilet paper, I just spit on my hand and wipe
I just beat up a cripple, he had no hands to fight
Acted gay in Chick-fil-A and got banned for life