Once, not very long ago
I was respected, I was popular
But now I hang my head in shame
My life is filled with such regrets
A bad mistake I can't forget
And now I'll never be the same

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone
I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all
(What was I thinking?)
My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call

Well, everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the world really hates my
Ringtone

When my phone goes off at work
I look like the biggest jerk
Total strangers want to slap me around
When it's ringin' on the terrace
My neighbors get embarrassed
They're beggin' me to move out of town

Well, it made my wife so sick
She smashed my iPhone with a brick
But I had it fixed and now it's just fine
It's a pain, I sure don't need it
And I probably should delete it
But for me that would be crossin' the line
'Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety-nine

Hey, I paid good money for this
Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone?
I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all
(Really, what was I thinking?)
My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call

Well, everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the world really hates my
Ringtone

Ringtone, ringtone
Aah aah
Ooh ooh oh oh oh

Chinese factory workers (they hate my ringtone)
Muslim women in burqas (really hate my ringtone)
Starvin' kids in Angola (they hate my ringtone)
Even folks with Ebola (just hate my ringtone)
All the nuns and nannies (all the welfare mothers)
All the Pakistanis (all the Wayans brothers)
Everyone on the land, everyone on the sea
Every single person everywhere unanimously

Everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the whole wide world
Really hates my ringtone
Ringtone, ringtone
Ringtone, ringtone