Got to work late 'cause my alarm was busted
The boss chewed me out and everybody's disgusted
'Cause it's just one of those days
It's just one of those days

I lost one of my socks in the drier
I can't find my wallet and my hair is on fire
Just one of those days
It's just one of those days

I just wrapped my Cadillac around a tree
A big swarm of locusts is following me
There's not even anything good on TV
It's just one of those days
It's just one of those days

Left all my Beatles records out in the sun
Got a Coke bottle stuck on the end of my tongue
It's just one of those days
Gonna be one of those days

The Nazis tied me up and covered me with ants
And I spilled toxic waste on my brand new pants
Just one of those days
Ever have one of those days?

The bank called me up and told me I'm overdrawn
Some freaks are burnin' crosses out on my front lawn
And I can't believe it, all the Cheetos are gone!
It just...just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those, one of those days

The F.B.I. has got a tap on my phone
Those darn Russian spies won't leave me alone
Shouldn't have got up this morning, shoulda known
It's just one of those days
It's just one of those days

A 747 crashed into my den
And there's nothin' but tater tots for dinner again
It's just one of those days
Never mind, it's just one of those days

Big steamroller just ran over my mom
And I cut myself shaving and they're dropping the bomb
It's just one of those days
That's all, it's just one of those days

Then late at night, just before I go to bed
The world blows up and now everybody's dead
You just can't deny it, it's just like I said
Just...just one of those, one of those days
Just one of those days, one of those days