Lately I've been finding it harder to breathe
With this cloud on my head and this weight on my knees
Every time I make a change you force me to leave
Toyman's so loud in my head he dims out every scream
If I leave it behind and a turn a new leaf
Then I'm no longer myself and go along with your schemes
I need this pain to be creative
Chaos to this spiral
With them I'm never accepted
It's a vicious cycle
And it's all predestined
Even if we're rivals
Our glue is septic
You make me suicidal
Every consequence which I've ever suspected
In prospect no object we stand uncorrected
This conflict I collect demands your attention
Can't contest a convict who'll use fear as a weapon
With context I caution please beware of the essence
A forged mess from more stress anxiety and depression
And as a roundabout I'll turn to you every time
Place choice in your hands my life's no longer mine
I thought that I could beat you
You keep on getting stronger
And every time I feed you
A part of me dies over
And if I always reach you
Means I'm never sober
Wish I could grab the light
But this burn is solar
So I give up the fight
And keep you as closure
You sit there laughing
Now I'm the joker
It's like the victim with Stockholms who depends on the threat
It's like the addict who's drug stays latched on to his neck
There's a madness stirring from the sting in my chest
And I've tried every bandage but haven't fixed it yet
To let go this cargo I'm no longer creating
My plateau I need more so the pain is equating
Could melt any time thin ice that I'm skating
Eat my own tail on the six nine you're dictating
I have to dictate one of us has to keep control
I'm stability off the coast of this emotional roll
There's no light at the end
You just like to pretend
It's a phony mend
To something too complex
You were on that pussy shit
These barriers gave you strength
Come on tell me sky
How does this not make sense
How does it not make sense
Searching for the light
Searching for the light
Searching for the light
Searching for the light