One two three welcome to the jubilee
Four five six how you gonna get your fix
Seven eight eight now I'm feeling really great
Nine ten ten let's do it all again 
Of course, you've heard of Nikola 
Nikola Tesla
But have you ever heard about 
Heisenbean's Distresser's
Heisenbean's Distressers 
You got Captain Coffee Bean
He's a Good Guy
Drinking good and plenty 
What a scene what a scene
Drunk by ten am
He's a jug head
Mad Dog twenty twenty
Matcha Man gotchya Man 
Another good guy
Good looking but he's dumb
Matcha Man Matcha Man 
He's got all the right moves
Super chops y'all 
He'll kill you with his thumb 
Now for Dr. Decaf 
Meet the bad guys
Fat slob, he needs a bath
Famunda unda 
His minions are sleeping zombies
No blessed caffeine  
That follow his evil path
Enter Energy X
A super bad guy 
A stuffed suit and he's trouble
Super poser
More phony than a hipster   
Made up of tiny bubbles
Troubled bubbles
Heisenbean's created
Both good and evil
It keeps him up at night 
Got to choose a side
Hope it's Captain Coffee Bean
Drunken Bean on your team 
To try to make things right
Almost the end just a bit more
I thought I'd tell you about the Keur
He's a robot nine feet tall
Invented by Heisenbean 
To make us all crawl 
Heisenbean you better use him
For the good of mankind 
Heisenbean you better use him
For the good of mankind 
Heisenbean you better use him
For the good of mankind