Ahhh that's a fine cup of joe.
A damn fine cup of joe by golly
Welcome welcome, gather round, gather round my plump little dumplings
And you tweekers best take off your sneakers.
Try to get comfortable and don't fidget around too much
And for the love of God don't scratch at your face
just relax like I'm doing with my delicious cup of Distresser coffee
Now now Martha I'm losing my way already,
I best concentrate a little
Well, I guess the best way to do this is just to come out and say it
This here is a story about a god damn superhero it is.
And I'm not too proud to say he's a fuck up.
And I tell you something else
if they were handing out gold medals for fuckin up
he'd be in the
goddamn Olympics
Now before I stray off the path again, I best tell you his name.
Captain Coffee Bean. That's right. Yeah
Captain Coffee Bean …and yes, he is a bonafide honest to God coffee bean. With me so far? Get this, our story's main guy is kind of flying human coffee bean superhero. Weird huh? Oh and did I mention he's always drunk
And hold your water cause there's also a slew of other characters, there's a mad scientist also a human coffee bean but this one is green he's bitter and never been roasted. Then we have a narcissistic tea leaf, a fat slob and a guy made of bubbles
Well let's start with Heisenbean. He was Captain Coffee Beans childhood friend he's a twisted green bean and a mad scientist  to boot. Most importantly he is the creator of The Distressers
I suppose he is our fancy pants paradoxical type, that is to say we don't know if he's our villain or hero
I will get to the other superheroes and villains a little later
Now none of this shit here makes any sense to me either but I guess I'll impart the tale to you anyhow. Now call me anything but late for dinner cause I ain't lying when I tell You that there's a robot in the mix.
This here group of misfits, I mean what we got here are heroes and zeros now granted sometimes hard to tell apart these heroes and zeros.
They're called The Distressers 
But we'll get to that later.
Anyhow I think I told you enough for now.
Now jam to bread
Rubber to road
Back up the truck 
And dump the load