When Kentucky stops racing horses
Mississippi votes blue
Nebraska ain’t growing corn
Texas don’t serve barbecue
Georgia quits playing football
Missouri’s got an ocean view
Honey that’s when I’ll wanna be with you

When Tennessee don’t sing country
And Arizona ain’t hot
When Delaware's got polar bears
And there’s a desert in Vermont

South Dakota tears Mt. Rushmore down
New Jersey ain’t got its shore
Washington’s dry and the drive
from New Hampshire to Utah’s short

When Nevada quits playing Blackjack
Florida ain’t in the news
Bama don’t shout “Roll Tide”
Louisiana ain’t got bayous
Wyoming shuts down their rodeos
Maryland don’t serve seafood
Honey that’s when I’ll wanna be with you

When you can’t find snow in Alaska
Or roller coasters in Ohio
Arkansas’s all beach, Kansas ain’t got wheat
And in Michigan ya don’t buy coats

Rhode Island’s bigger than Minnesota
Wisconsin don’t got cheese
Ain’t suburb kids in Connecticut
And they don’t surf in Hawaii

When West Virginia ain’t got their coal mines
And New York hates Babe Ruth
Maine ain’t catching lobsters
New Mexico bans hot air balloons
Pennsylvania ain’t got chocolate
North Carolina shuts down Duke
Honey that’s when I’ll wanna be with you

When Illinois stops claiming Abraham Lincoln
Oregon floats out into the sea and
California don’t make movies anymore

There’s palm trees growing in Massachusetts
And Iowa’s the spot for jungle cruises
And South Carolina summers ain’t that warm

When Idaho don’t grow potatoes
Virginia don’t support our troops
Colorado ain’t that high
Indiana stops shooting hoops
When Oklahoma loses their cowboys
And North Dakota has a typhoon
Honey that’s when I’ll wanna be with you

When Montana ain’t got mountains
And DC politicians tell the truth
Honey that’s when I’ll wanna be with you