Spotcheck Billy got down on his hands and knees
He said "Hey momma, hey let me check your oil all right?"
She said "No, no honey, not tonight
Comeback Monday, comeback Tuesday, then I might."
I said Juanita, my sweet Jaunita, what are you up to?
My Juanita
I said Jaunita, my sweet taquita, what are you up to?
My Juanita

Don't want nobody who won't dive for dimes
Don't want no speedballs 'cause I might die tryin
Throw me a line, throw me a line
'Cause there's a fat man in the bathtub with the blues
I hear you moan, I hear you moan, I hear you moan

Billy got so sad, dejected, put on his hat and start to run
Runnin' down the street yellin' at the top of his lungs
All I want in this life of mine is some good clean fun
All I want in this life and time is some hit and run

I said Juanita, my sweet Jaunita, what are you up to?
My Jaunita
I said Jaunita, my sweet taquito, what are you up to?
My Juanita

Put my money in your meter baby so it won't run down
But you caught me in the squeeze play on the cheesy side of town
Throw me a dime, throw me a line
'Cause there's a fat man in the bathtub with the blues
I hear you moan, I hear you moan, I hear you moan