When I woke up this morning I was feeling fine
But this cat starts banging man what a swine
So I called reception but to no avail
That's why I'm telling you this sorry tale
It went bang I said shupt up it went bang I said rap up
Well I'm aware that the guy must do his work
But the piledriver man drove me berserk

He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot d'you want
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot d'you want

Once a lifetime twice a day
If you don't work you get no pay
I been to the east I been to the west
But the girls I like best are the ones undressed

Well hello Adam where you been
Said stand aside 'cause I'm feeling mean
I've had a gutful of you and I'm afeeling bad
But you're an ugly old pirate and ain't I glad

He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot d'you want
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot

He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot
He said captain I said wot he said captain I said wot d'you want