Letting go of my memories, but they come over and over

My first love, first sex, first kiss
I remember every moment
Every detail of the past
Breaking the parts of my new life
First corpse I saw, first fight
Like flashes into my mind
My second personality was born,
With the growing insanity

One part is giving everything
The second looks senseless
Another is making me
Depressed, weak, hopeless and helpless

Many people I can blame for my pain, for my sorrow
There is no sense, no way to judge, they are hollow

First drink and the last cigarette
Just killing me, every moment
First time that I lost control,
The scars will show and remind me
First time when the lie, I told
Will I find the past, or will the past find me?