Tomato juice and raspberries
Carrots, water crescents, celery
Immediately on floor five

Are you happy, are you learning, are you getting stronger?
The Andersons cannot wait a moment longer
You better look alive

Well, life could be a bed of roses
If it wasn't filled with so many pricks
Who wanna take it out on the bellboy
On the bellboy

You got fresh towels for 44
You knocked once, then you knocked once more
Then you open up the door

Mister Mickey, the haberdasher
Is laid on a lady and going at her
In the middle of the floor

Well he just smiled and kept on going
I guess it got his juices flowing
Playing to an audience of one
Putting it on for the bell-boy
For the benefit of the bell-boy
You didn't even get a tip
No, no tip for the bellboy
The bellboy, the bellboy

Butterfly steak with baby peas
Living on gratuities
Living far beyond your means
Whatever that means tonight

And everybody wants to be cool
But not everyone can be cool unless someone else
Is there to bring the ice
And you provide the ice
Because you are the bellboy
Such a swell boy
The all-is-well boy
The I'll-never-tell boy

Oh, and the evening doesn't pan out right
If you peak too soon or you start a fight
When someone has to stand between the shit and the fan
That man is the bellboy
Give it up for the bellboy
Show some respect for the bellboy
Make some noise for the bellboy
The bellboy, the bellboy
I'm talking 'bout the bellboy