Adam
E equals mc squared so I've heard
This is charm school, how to pull a smart bird
Love to dance with a skank with a stiff in my pants
You're thinking romance while I'm thinking "are they implants?"

Girl, you're better looking than my missus
Want to give you deep love
And then shower you with kisses
On your pink parts, cos this Newport clart
Is into Charm School like Da Vinci to art
This is a Hussain education it involves sex, draw and a Playstation
Pushing your buttons, now you're thinking that I'm tender
Like Craig David with a hidden agenda

So I step to her, and say "what's up?"
I'm not much too look at but girl you're in luck
It's not all about looks, confidence or personality
Wide ons, hardons, loving a bit of rubsies

Adam's charm school
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school
(getting education)
Adam's charm school
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school
(he don't care if you're minging)

Eggsy
He's the G with the CSE
A real A+ plus and they teach you for free

P. Xain
Charm School
Skills to rob tills
NVQ's, to City And Guilds

2Hats
Double detention but it don't matter
I got my fingers stuck in the dinner ladies' batter

Mystikal
Ding-a-ling

The bell's for you, not for me
I graduated from charm school back in 1983

Ballsy
Adam Hussain, I needs another lesson
And when the bell rings, we're going on a session
And have a little wager to see who can pull
The most birds, I've lost count, I've got my hands full

2 Hats
This charm school
Where I learns from the master
To get my finger in, just a little bit faster
In and out, up and down, there's no complication
A GLC baby's what you get for graduation

Eggsy
It's a simple course and it won't involve revision
Just 12 pints of lager in a nightclub on a mission
His teaching style is more than just particular
And if he likes your bits then he'll get extra-curricular

P. Xain
I went to the university of life and the school of thought
But I forgot all of the important things what I was taught
Oh son, you gotta learn
That if you take 12 pukkas you're bound to gurn

Adam's charm school
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school
(getting education)
Adam's charm school
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school
(he don't care if you're minging)

Eggsy
Take time to study and invest
If you follow the charm school rules you'll be impressed
There's no exams and it don't involve money
Just a never-ending urge to try and get yourself some cunny
Think style, charm and finesse
Mix it up with Adam and then chuck him some breasts
Add confusion, ladies, and 27 beers
Then wait down the clinic till the test results clears

Adam
Smooth! Like a pane of glass
I'm gonna kick your ass if you try and skip my class
I'll be your knight in shining armour
Smoking marijuana
Whispering sweet nothings cos you knows that I'm a charmer

Billy
Top class, you're free to enrol
Like Pandora's box to Adrian Mole
Or the Bee Gees, for whom the bell tolls
Give it a shot cos every hole's a goal

Adam's charm school
(down the bus station)
Adam's charm school
(getting education)
Adam's charm school
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school
(he don't care if you're minging)
Adam's charm school
(it's like Jamie Oliver to chips)
Adam's charm school
(so it's fingers on lips)
Adam's charm school
(when the bell starts ringing)
Adam's charm school
(he don't care if you're minging)