She is at the beck and call of alcoholics
She is at the beck and call of fools
She believes that you should only love your lover
She can't even follow her own rules

Dear old Granddad made his fortune many years ago
That's why this unlikely girl
Has got three million dollars to blow

And those who know and love the heiress
Divide, conquer and embarrass
Cooing softly, "could you spare us
Cab fare to the moon, to the moon, to the moon"

She can disarm anyone with cloak and dagger
She can lend a sympathetic ear
She can keep your secret for a good ten minutes
She can reacquaint you with your fear

Dear old Granddad made his fortune many years ago
That's why this unlikely girl
Has got two million dollars to blow

She is at the beck and call of alcoholics
She is at the beck and call of fools
She believes that you should only love your lover
She can't even follow her own rules

Dear old Granddad made his fortune many years ago
That's why this unlikely girl
Has got one million dollars to blow

Dear old Granddad made his fortune many years ago
Now he's turning in his grave
'Cos there's not one red cent left to blow