You could say I'm plastered, 'cause I hit the wall
I lost count after 21 in the college crawl
Well, I been a boozin' bastard
They're callin' me Edward Forty-hands, can't touch anyone
With an enemy like me, who would need a friend?
Never mind, I'm drunk

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken-hearted
I'd try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just drink that too
Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too

Ooh, yeah. I'm the reason they call it an ""Irish Goodbye""
Ooh, and I hope I don't choke on my vomit tonight
Well, I bet that the bottle of brandy's so bitter'd
Be better than bitin' the bullet and betterin' myself
Sorry if I slur
Take my anxiety and my sobriety
I'll kill two birds with one stoner
So if you see me please, take my keys
I don't wanna be an organ donor yet

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken-hearted
I'd try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just drink that too
Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too

Well, I'm going down, and I'm taking you with me
I'm bringing the water to the horse
So bring me the hair of the dog that bit me
So I can clone it and have a little more, haha

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken-hearted
Yeah we had no higher power since that blackout started
Oh, defibrillate all the broken-hearted

I'd try to see the glass as half full
Even when I'm empty, half full
I try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just-
Woah, yeah!
Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too
I'd probably just drink that too