I could have it all
Not gonna lie, if I wanted I could die
'Cause it's hard to stay alive when there's no reason to try
Why open my heart just to find what I hide when all of my secrets are kept in my mind
So I pick apart my brain, I'm on the descent
Calling anybody's name 'cause I'm desperate
Why wake to fake this feeling when all of my senses are telling me I'm not okay
I could have it all
You've sent me into drought
I could have it all
Not gonna lie, I'm just barely getting by
So instead I confide in an SSRI
It doesn't matter if you'll ever believe
'Cause I'm used to blame always falling on me
Feeling cold, feeling empty that's my weakness
No emotion left to show, feeling worthless
I wish that I wasn't telling the truth when I tell all the things that once helped me out to go
It took so long to see
That I could never keep
From turning into everything I wish I couldn't be
(God)
To whom it may concern
I'm still a shell of the person that I used to be so
When I can look back and say that I don't regret a fucking thing then I will pick myself up off the ground
I could have it all
But I'm lying to myself
So you can have it all
Cause I don't want this anymore