I was blue and lonely
I couldn't sleep a wink
And I could only get unconscious if
I'd had to much to drink
There was somehow, something wrong somewhere
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation were
Growing in my head i needed inspiration
A brand new start in life
Somewhere to place affection
But I didn't want a wife

An ad that was unusual
The like I'd never seen
"Experience something different with our
New imported toy she's loving, warm
Inflatible and a guarantee of joy"
She came all wrapped in cardboard
All pink and shrivelled down
A breath of air was all she needed
To make her lose that frown
I took her to the bedroom and
Pumped her with some life
And later in a moment that
Girl became my wife and so I sit her in the
Corner and sometimes stroke her hair
And when I'm feeling naughty I
Blow her up with air
She's cuddly and she's bouncy
She's like a rubber ball
I bounce her in the kitchen and
I bounce her in the hall

I wake up morning and have her on a tray
She's everything they say she was and
I wear a permanent grin
And I only have to worry in
Case my girl wears pins