Comedy jokes for comedians

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I just flew into town and my arms are so tired.

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What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

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What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!

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Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable

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Why was my computer cold?
It had a virus.

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What did the mouse say to the keyboard?

Youu0027re my type!

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I canu0027t believe I got fired from the calendar at work. All I did was take a day off

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Can February March?
No, but April May.

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What has more mail
The post office

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What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!

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What did the fan say to champion
Nice belt

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What is the Easter bunnyu0027s favorite type of music?
Hip-hop!