Phyllis Twat she died in the springtime,
She expired in a terrible fit,
We fulfilled her last dying wish, sir,
She was buried in six feet of .....

Chorus :
Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses,
Covered all over from arse to tit, covered all over in shit.

Phyllis Twat kept a sack in the garden,
I was curious I must admit,
One day I stuck in my finger, and pulled it out covered in .....
Chorus

Phyllis Twat took a bag to her boyfriend's,
But the bag was old and it split,
Now the boyfriend and Phyllis have parted,
For the bag was quite packed full of .....
Chorus

I sat on a gold lavatory, in the home of the baron of Split,
The seat was encrusted with rubies,
But as usual the bowl contained .....
Chorus

There was a professional farter,
Who could flatulate ballads and airs,
He could poop out the Moonlight Sonata,
And accompany musical chairs, singing
Chorus

One day he attempted an opera,
It was hard but the fool wouldn't quit,
With his head held aloft, he suddenly coughed,
And collapsed in a big heap of ......
Chorus

Well, now my song it has ended,
And I really must make my exit,
And if any of you feel offended, stick your head in a bucket of .....
Chorus