Did you read the Sunday paper
About the strong stomached twenty five
Who from an expedition
All came back alive
From that hostile country
Where only the stones survive
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour one.

Picture-taking tourist
The war was half a deal
The natives can't believe it
It all seems so unreal
Just to ask the question,
Now how does it feel
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour ride

Two thousand seven hundred and fifty two un-scheduled stops
Watch them kill the crabgrass
But look out for the cops
Hospitals for flowers
The matron ladies cry

Itchy trigger fingers
As our caravan walks by
Overcrowded laughter
'Cause they're all four gallons high
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour ride

Read the Sunday paper
Though you may disagree
About the maiden voyage of poets A to Zee
None confuse to answer
That happiness is free
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour ride.