I remember years ago a place I loved to go
Palm trees, sunshine beaches and never any snow
Then bastards came in numbers to infiltrate the place
Crime and murder rates have soared in Florida's disgrace
Now they've ruined Miami, they've let it go to piss
Now they've ruined Miami, there's nothing left to miss
Now they've ruined Miami, and my vacation plans
Guess I'II have to stay at home until they fix it. man!
Now they've got new gun laws, and everybody's armed
They say it's their protection, no need to be alarmed
I hate to be sarcastic but I wear the shoe that fits
Miami is a city that has all but gone to shit

I really wish I didn't have to write sarcastic songs
But modern day society has got to right these wrongs
Old men and women now have guns and they can't even drive
They can't aim, and they can't shoot and we cannot survive
Cemeteries filling up, they'll have to make some room
People wasting people, I sense impending doom
So if you love Miami, you'll get what you deserve
Better pack a bullet proof vest, and pills to soothe your nerves