No more "but mama, I love her"

I was making plans for our 52 next dates
While you were phasing out and tryna get to the next thing
A lost proud boy
Oh I made me a mistake
I thought I found "Joy" but the label was misplaced
Joy implies that you would never leave unless I made you
And that demands that I would make a deep internal change to
And I don't remember even suggesting that I able
If I was would I be asking you "basic" things like
"How your relationship with God be?"
'Cause it's gotta be more than voting Republican, making fun of astrology and having Jeremiah 29:11 written in your bio
You living by the faith or in denial
Your complete lack of respect is the part that hurt the best
I'd be pleading for you back but mama taught me not to beg
Being in your past, it had me walking on the ledge
Cutting myself and struggling to walk from all the medicine
You see, I ain't saying this for sympathy
But you should really know, you're game-playing it was killing me
I should've noticed all the little things
I can't say truly that I forgive you, I haven't even forgiven me!
Will all of this strife go away that's waging inside of my brain?
Feel like death's a mile away
Might just disable the brake and just call it a day
'Cause I just
I just
I just want it, I just want it
I just want it to be over
Take me into forever

(Your complete lack of respect is the part that hurt the best)
(I'd be pleading for you back but mama taught me not to beg)
(Being in your past, it had me walking on the ledge)
(Cutting myself and struggling to walk from all the medicine, you see)

You probably didn't believe when I said I'd love you till infinity
Regardless I never would've done to you the same thing that you did to me
I wouldn't even wish it upon my worst enemy
Somehow I still love you even after seeing what you tried to keep hid from me