I didn't know what to do
And I didn't know where to go
When I looked at you
And I saw that it was snow on the ground
And not me pretending that I was a bee
Fresh from Antarctica, frozen to ice
Mother dear, I want some quick advice

'Cause I didn't know what to do
And I didn't know where to go
Someone looked at me
And they said politely
"Growing a beard can be fun
Let me show you how it is done"
I said, "Don't bother, I'd rather go see
Uncle George and Auntie Marge, help me"

'Cause I didn't know what to do
When you said you were ready to go away
And they'll stay
Until such a time permit me to say
I love you

People keep staring, they don't understand
Cousin Mary, please give me your hand

'Cause I didn't know what to do
And I didn't know where to
Go