God dammit khalil
this isn't an easy thing to write
but i wouldn't be lying if i said
it hasn't constant on my mind
i don't want to imagine how you died
od'd in a car or maybe a house
or maybe a street with orange lights
until the cops had finally arrived

but i
can't help but wonder
just how did this happen
and when did it get so bad
and i
can't help but imagine
that it might be different
if i hadn't left tampa

i saw that you followed my bands page
immediately hit you up to see
just how you were doing how it's been
going along with recovery
you said it's been good it's been 8 months
and you just got into a sober living
you might get a job and maybe a grant
so you can go back to school again

and that
was 5 days before i
got a missed call from tj and a text from javi
in bed
right after i slept in
at andrea's house i found out you're not here


they send
their prayers
what does that mean to me?
i've loved
and lost
but not quite like this

they send
their thoughts
they send
for what?

fuck