I failed at my relationships, I failed at my career
and now I'm sitting, popping pills, and crying in my beer
bewailing all the woes of life and the shit that comes along
thinking Jesus fucking Christ, I'm worse than a country song

If I had a pickup truck, I know it would break down
and it ain't hard to guess the end if I had a faithful hound
Now I look in the broken mirror and wonder what went wrong
thinking Jesus fucking Christ, I'm worse than a country song

I roll over in the broken glass and pick myself off the floor
and start to take an interest in the world outside the door
stop staring at my navel, which I've been doing far too long
because when you think about it, there ain't nothing worse than a country song