Sick of complaining
What have the demons been saying
It's a little late for praying
With the prices I been paying
Another day locked down and
Put into the books man
I'm surprised that I survived
Through all the lies and all the looks
From side to side
I feel the pressure fucking mountain
Feel the judgement that's surrounding
Clocks been running out I'm counting
How many more days can
I sit with fucked up thoughts
When my own father doesn't stop
At anything to get one up
Intrusive thoughts they've been taking over
I put my luck on a four leaf clover
Just an old bastard I could push you over
But there'd be no point coz your life is over
Now I look back
At all the memories we made
And realise people weren't there
In all the memories we made
And then I wonder
Why was I so well behaved
And I would never express
All of my true feelings they'd been slaved
It's in control
And all the power that he knows
It's all about keeping you close
And not the morals that he shows
Proof in the pudding
It all came with the deluding
And confusion I don't understand
How he can keep on moving
It's in my blood
Am I becoming what I hate
See I just hoped he'd be my mate
And tried so many damn ways but
It's never gonna be the same
And that's okay
You're here to learn every day
And hope the pressure goes away
But how about when it stays
And I can't bare the fucking pain
Of what they'd said upon my name
And if I'll ever be the same
I wish I gave a fuck
But you ain't worth my time
And when I can just block you like that
Then there's no need for reply
Every narcissist can make
This song about them
If they trick themselves enough
To think I gave a fuck about them
See it's okay to just admit
You're not okay but it's no good
To be ashamed of admitting
That you're in pain
Just reach out and let em know
You don't feel proud
And you can be part of the crowd
If you make your problems aloud
I've tried my best to stand up
Get out of this mess
I've never meant to be depressed
Or be a problem I confess
Never been the same
Coz once you feel the fucking pain
Of reality a tragedy
Will find a safe space in your name