I'm 14
I speak too low but when I think I scream
I scream to the world that my pain is real
I scream to my parents to look after me
I scream to myself to shut up and live
I can't sleep
That dark hole inside just keeps growing
Do I need air do I need love do I need to stop breathing
Do I even need people to help me go through this
Do I need to be alone to face that crisis
My head is burning
It's dying to cry out but keeps pouding
Keep wondering how it might be without people around me
I don't want to be lonely but hate the world you give me
Guess that's how I'm destined to be
My soul is so dark
Fuck this
I need medication
Hip-hop culture is my tool to liberation
Boombox
I'm angry I'm exhausted I just want it to stop
And I will use this rage just to get to the top
Just like Marshal did
And many before me
I wanna use these verses just to tell you who is me
Am I a sad little girl or a freaking depressive
No one ever really knew that I was made for sadness
And no I'm not happy no I won't smile
Cause every space I'm in feels like I shouldn't occupy
I feel lost, misunderstood
But who really cares
We spend all our childhoods pretending life is fair
We hide we seek but yet we never find
That little lost kid who was hiding behind
And yes that kid was me
Life should've made me happy
So today I spit on the ones who mistreated me
They can go to hell with their fake-ass smiles
With their perfect lives and their story times
My mom my pops they don't know who I am
They refuse to see their baby girl consumed with pain
This is my first rap
First lines first verse
And never in my life have I felt this thirst
The thirst of saying more the thirst of holding less
The thirst of having more yet less to confess
I come from nothing
No one even knows my name
But imma spit on y'all jokers just to tell you who I am
I am not what you think and I will never be
No one tells me what I should and what I shouldn't see
I wasn't born to be someone someone was born to be me
Wanna know who I am
I'm not the one you should be asking
Layla is inside me she's the voice of liberation
She will speak my Truth
Layla is my medication
She's the one who talks loud
The one who's so proud
The one who's always angry not the one who cries
They are the same body but two different souls
There's the one who sells and the one who gets sold