Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

She'd been drinking too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go (don't go grandma!)
But she forgot her medication,
And she staggered out the door into the snow

When we found her Christmas morning,
At the scene of the attack (let me tell you something)
She had hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminating Claus marks on her back (2,3!)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been taking this so well
See him in there watching football (hallelujah!)
Playing cards and drinking beer with cousin Mel

It's not Christmas without Grandma
All the family's dressed in black (amazing grace!)
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back? (send them back?)

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walking home from our house Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig
And the blue and silver candles,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig

I've warned all my friends and neighbors
"Better watch out for yourselves"
They should never give a license, no
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves

(And that's why) Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walking home from our house, Christmas eve
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe
Yes, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe!