You want me to bring you home the bacon
Fry it up and serve it to you too
When I don't you act so godforsaken
Like somehow I've been mistreating you
I know that's the way your mama did it
She waited on you dang near all your life
It took awhile but now I finally get it
You were never looking for a wife

[Chorus:]
If you want a mother I can be one
That ain't all that difficult for me
We can do it your way from now on son
And I'll show you what a mother I can be

Remember Tuesday night when you're out bowling
You better have your butt back home by 9
Otherwise you're grounded for the weekend
And that brand new Silverado will be mine

In the evening when you're feeling sleepy
Well I'll tuck you in and pat you on your head
And I'll be right down the hall if you should need me
Big boys have to sleep in their own bed

[Chorus x2]

You can go on back to your mother's apron strand
Your mom can be a mother just like me