I’ve been contemplating
Everything that’s on my mind
Said I was a sinner, yet I never had to lie
Although it gettin thinner, I will never cross the line
Bring a pair scissors, gotta cut my family ties
Never will I ever, leave myself to decide
What I can, and cannot do
I never liked to pick a side
Learned that from my youth
That you don’t really get to choose
The outcome what you make of it
The memories I’ll savor it
The bitterness I tend to miss
The happiness I can’t admit
I never was a fan of it
Cause once you lose it,
You can’t really seem to handle it
Get caught up in the grey abyss
N find myself diving deeper,
Every time I reminisce
And yes I tried to deal wit this
But I don’t wanna cope wit it
The war that never seem to end
The boy that never seemed to gain
Any kind of confidence
I’ve broke a hundred promises
I haven’t even thought of since
N this is where the truth begin
(this is where the truth begin)

Now tell me once again
That ion never gonna harness it
I promise if, I ever see the top
I will not tarnish it
I always put my heart in this
But lately it’s been hardening
Feelings feelin’ dull, all my tools I’ve been sharpening
I can hear the bullshit,
These people they been gossiping
The hate that they been marketing
Clutching on my stomach
Make me sick, n now im vomitin’
Harboring, my negativity
Like i am fond of it
I bonded wit, every single demon
Like a conduit
Pondering, the little things
I often find it hard to get
A little peace of mind, from my accomplishments
Promising, that one day I’ll wake up
To see I conquered it, the art of it
I never needed compliments
Shrug em off,
Maintaining the control of my environment
Spiraling, searching for enlightenment
Looking for the brighter side
Won’t somebody guide me outa this
Cause I can’t ever seem to get
The bigger picture (FUCK)
I just seem to be my biggest threat
I know I’m speaking from my common sense
Indebted at my own expense
I bought a life experience, while sleeping on the bus
Bouncing back wit more resilience
Given a couple years,
Im so grateful I went through that shit
Cause I been making differences
N reapin what I sow, i start to see the benefits
Forgive me for my ignorance
I’m sorting out my grievances
While pointing out my weaknesses
Can’t condone my sins
But im slowly making peace wit em