My brother was a handsome sprinter
The ladies found him very dashing
A computer once beat me at chess
But it was no match for me at kick boxing
And Peter Said
I long for the good old days
Back when nostalgia was a thing
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline
She really hit the ceiling
The man who invented knock-knock jokes
Should get a no-bell prize
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high
She seemed surprised
I'm trying transcendental meditation
It's better than sitting around doing nothing
I think the roof of your mouth
Should actually be called the ceiling
Peter Said
I hired a limo but the driver ran away,
It cost four hundred dollars and I have nothing to chauffeur it
Moses makes a great coffee
It's just the way hebrews it
That's stupid
The man who invented knock-knock jokes
Should get a no-bell prize
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high
She seemed surprised
Noah's ark had two of every kind
Even termites
If you think the first three minutes of life are dangerous
Think about the last three minutes
Peter Said
I had a business selling cold air balloons
But it never really took off
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory
All I did was take a day off
The man who invented knock-knock jokes
Should get a no-bell prize
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high
She seemed surprised.
I bought my corgi a Rollex
I always wanted a watch dog
That's stupid
The cows did their shopping
They used a cattle log
I used to be an underpaid baker
But i kneaded more dough
I gave Elsa a big balloon
But she let it go, let it go
And Peter said
The man who invented knock-knock jokes
Should get a no-bell prize
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high
She seemed surprised