At I night I can't sleep my mind runs a marathon
Could it be depression or really just the marijuan
Some times i sit back and wonder bout myself
Am I really going thru it do I really need help

Welp, I dont know, can't keep my mind from wandering
Too much overthinking got my mind really pondering

Its to the point where i try not to bother y'all
I'd rather sit back and take shots of alcohol
Bourbon in fact when my mind start quiver

With all these shot of liquor I've done compromised my liver (fuck)
well my stress is an all time high
Instead of taking meds I sit alone and cry (for real)
And sometimes, thats really the best medicine

(Cause the) pain that I'm feelin it goes deeper than Excedrin
I've hourbor- PTSD like a Veteran
Wearing it as a badge of honor knowing I know better than
that's the issue when dealing wit anxiety
Always Thinking bout what others think in society

Socially awkward and at times I don't give a fuck
Well it's my life so I just press my luck
And sometimes women can be a drain
Emotionally scarred just adding to the pain

I can't begin to explain but imma try
As I write and wipe this tear from my eye
5 years ago when my mother left this earth
5 years later wondering whats life worth

I was taught not to question God
The pain is still deep so mask a facade
How could u take the only woman truly loved me
Thought bout ending it all where the slugs be

And that's Not to far from where the drugs be
Now that she's not here there's no one to hug me
While talkin friend he says he think I need threrapy
I respond I dont know may I'll just let it be

I try picking up the phone and calling a therapist
Overthinking, should I when I don't have insurance
So I have to just build up endurance
But I don't know where imma get the reassurance

They say depression is justa state of mind
If that's the case then it stays in my mind
Then Corona shut down the barber shop
I didn't have another hustle so I had to Stop

I put all my eggs in one basket
Thinking one to the head would be drastic
So I had to devise a plan
Over coming the pain would make a better man

And I cherish the bond wit my children
Instead of destroying I'd rather be building
I just use the barber shop as a crutch
Cause sometimes this pain be to much

I wish it go away I wish I could stop it
Everywhere I turn there's person in my pockets
Asking me for help when I'm the one that need it
Not tryin to spend all my time gettin weeded.

Living a healthier lifestyle cause I need it
The magic is gratitude death I cheated