Cs I clean up the empty bottles, I really wish I could have a better night, but the dish sink is full, and I've got nowhere to go. So I'll spend my Friday nights cleaning... I guess that this is being an adult.

Well growing up I was told I could be anything as long as I put my mind to it. Well now I'm not sure if I believe in any of that, because now I'm so much older with nothing to show for it. Except watching everyone I love get it together, as I continue struggling with getting out of bed. Well guess that this is being an artist: at least that's what I've been telling myself these days.

cnd I have never been so scared, but I really can't help it. The world has been laid out as my oyster and I can't bring myself to kill it.

Oh my god everybody's getting married, and I still can't imagine liking anyone that much. Maybe I'm just bad at committing, maybe somewhere in my head I know I'm not good for anyone.

cnd I have never been so scared, but I really can't help it. The thought of walking down the aisle makes me want to vomit.

Well I think that hope is for suckers, but at this point it's really all I've got. cnd I know that the world is beautiful, but I can't help but feel I've failed it. Well maybe I'm wrong about all of this, and there's a reason to keep my chin up. cnd maybe just maybe, things get better, but you didn't hear it from me!