Well, Ali Baba had them forty thieves
Scheherazade had a thousand tales
But, master, you're in luck 'cause up your sleeve
You got a brand of magic never fails
You've got some power in your corner now
Some ammunition in your camp
You've got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
All you've gotta do is rub that lamp and I'll say

Mister Aladdin, sir, what will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order, jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me

Life is your restaurant and I'm your maitre d'
Come on, whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me

Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss, the king, the shah
Say what you wish, it's yours, true dish
How 'bout a little more baklava?

Have some of column A, try all of column B
I'm in the mood to help you, dude
You ain't never had a friend like me

Oh, no
Oh, yeah
Oh, man

Can your friends do this?
Can your friends do that?
Can your friends pull this
Out their little hat?

Can your friends go
(Hey, looky here) Wait, who was that?
Can your friends go, abracadabra, let 'er rip
And then make a sucker disappear?

So don't you sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got the bona fide, certified
You got a genie for your charge d'affaires

I got a powerful urge to help you out
Are y'all BFFs? I gotta know
You've got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
All you've gotta do is rub like so

Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job, you big nabob
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me
You ain't never had a friend like me