Ay man shoutout to tampon con man that's me
I hanged a fucking tampon from a tree
And then I began to beat my fucking meat
And there was like 8 people watching me

And then a bee came and then stung my meat
It stung my meat
Now it's fucking swollen near the tip
Man I'm just saying some bullshit

But it's lit
Nah I'm fucking joking I'm a fucking bitch
But shoutout to tampon con man that's me
I hanged a fucking tampon from a tree

And then I came back like a week later
You won't believe who took it it was a fucking alligator
It was a fucking alligator
I fucking hate alligators so I became a masturbator

Ay man let's just say I got the fucking tampon back
And that shit was black
I threw that shit away
Cause it was fucking gay

Ay man shoutout to tampon con man
Shoutout to tampon con man that's me
I hanged a fucking tampon from a tree
When I came back it was soaked in pee

That's not how you fucking use it
Ay man
It was soaked in pee
It was soaked in piss

Ay man what the fuck
It was soaked in fucking piss
Ay man whoever did that shit
You's a fucking bitch
Now I gotta get a new tampon
I gotta get a new tampon
Ay I'm looking in the stores right now

What the fuck is a condom
Update I bought the fucking condom
The motherfucking condom
When I was buying it

The cashier looked at me like I'm fucking dumb
But he sold it to me so he's a fucking scum
Why the fuck is my mic bugging
That's fucking dumb

Ay man we're getting off track
We gotta get back to the condom
Yeah I hanged a fucking condom from a fucking tree
And then I came back in like a fucking week

Ay
Where the fuck was my fucking condom
I had to look everywhere
And it was in a fucking bush

Tell me why the fuck I looked down
And there was fucking white stuff in my condom
Yeah
Ay

I tried to fucking refund the condom to get paid
Yeah
Then it fucking grew legs and then it ran away
I was looking for that bitch all fucking day

I found it and then I started to fucking cut up
And then I went home and ate
Not the fucking condom
Tampon con man