Doctor Long John
My dreams are full of Doctor Long John
I got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
I have a dentist who's over seven feet tall
His name is Doctor Long John
And he answers every call

You know, I went to Long John's office
I said, "Doctor, the pain is killing me"
I went to Long John's office
I said, "Doctor, the pain is killing"
He said, "Don't worry, baby"
It's just your cavity needs a little filling

He took out his trusty drill
Told me to open wide
He said he wouldn't hurt me
But he filled my whole inside
Long John, Long John, don't you ever go away
'Cause you thrill me when you drill me
And I don't need no novocain today

Oh, when he got done drilin' he said
Now, Miss Midler, that is going to cost you ten
I was prepared to pay twenty
Yeah, yeah, when he got done drillin' he said
Baby, that is going to cost you ten
But if it ever starts in to throbbing
Come back and see old Long John
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, yeah

Long John, I sold my heart to Doctor Long John
And I will never, never be the same
Oh, that's so heavy I just gotta lay back