I'm a Christmas Unicorn, in a uniform made of gold
With a billy-goat beard, and a sorcerer's shield, and mistletoe on my nose

Oh, I'm a Christian holiday, I'm a symbol of original sin
I've a pagan tree, and a magical wreath, and bow-tie on my chin

Oh, I'm a pagan heresy, I'm a tragic-al Catholic shrine
I'm a little bit shy, with a lazy eye, and a penchant for sublime

Oh, I'm a mystical apostasy, I'm a horse with a fantasy twist
Though I play all night, with my magical kite, people say I don't exist

For I make no full apology for the category I reside
I'm a mythical mess, with a treasury chest, I'm a construct of your mind

Oh, I'm hysterically American, I've a credit card on my wrist
And I have no home, or a field to roam, I will curse you with my kiss

Oh, I'm a criminal pathology with a history of medical care
I'm a frantic shopper, and a brave pill popper, and they say my kind are rare

But I've seen others in the uniform of a unicorn just like me
We are legions wide, and we choose no sides, we are masters of mystique

For you're a Christmas Unicorn, I have seen you on the beat
You may dress in the human uniform, child
But I know you're just like me

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I'm the Christmas Unicorn
You're the Christmas Unicorn too

I'm the Christmas Unicorn
(Find the Christmas Unicorn)
You're the Christmas Unicorn too
(It's all right, I love you)

Love, love will tear us apart, again
Love, love will tear us apart, my friend