There's too many women and not enough wine
Too many poets and not enough rhyme
Too many glasses and not enough time
Draw your own conclusions

My old dog's a good old dog
My old man's a silly old sod
The human face is a terrible place
Choose your own examples

Went to the river, but I could not swim
Knew I'd drown if I went in
Lost my faith in a terrible race
Rest-in-peace hereafter