Friends in the department
Well, I guess that must be nice
To have support in your deployment
To have your pick of the best supplies
Don't have to turn nobody in to get ahead

Friends can help with advancement
Friends can help you grease some heel
Or put a good word in at a gala
Help you to cultivate your appeal
But you must never turn your back on no one
The opera box and the shadowed handgun

You'll do fine, stay calm act right
Chin up, eyes down, be seen in town
Do well, don't break, don't make some dumb mistake
Just breathe, make believe that it's give and take
Don't make it so it's us or you
We're not that close, we thought you knew

Friends in the department
Are always checking in on their crimes
They like to verify their placement and to
Boast about the price
But you should never take advice from no one
Better at a grave than well below one

This whole time I told you why
I'd leave you here when things got weird
It's high time I got out
The sky's about to rain
All holy hell down onto this whole department
It's out of order
And they're checking papers at the border
Friends in the department
Well I guess that must be nice