Hold the milk, put back the sugar
They are powerless to console
We're gathered here to sprinkle ashes
From our late friend's cereal bowl

Breakfast clubbers, say the motto
That he taught us to repeat
"You will lose it in your gym class
If you wait till noon to eat"

Back when the chess club said our eggs were soft
Every Monday he'd say grace and hold our juice aloft
Oh, none of us knew his check-out time would come so soon
But before his brain stopped waving, he composed this tune

When the toast has burned
And all the milk has turned
And Captain Crunch is waving farewell
When the Big One finds you
May this song remind you
That they don't serve breakfast in hell

Breakfast clubbers dropped the hankies
Though to some our friend was odd
That day he bought those pine pajamas
His check was good with God

Those here without the Lord, how do you cope?
For this morning we don't mourn like those who have no hope
Oh, rise up Fruit Loop lovers, sing out Sweet and Low
With spoons held high, we bid our brother Cheerio

When the toast has burned
And all the milk has turned
And Captain Crunch is waving farewell
When the Big One finds you
May this song remind you
That they don't serve breakfast in hell

When the toast has burned
And all the milk has turned
And Captain Crunch is waving farewell
When the Big One finds you
May this song remind you
That they don't serve breakfast in hell

When the toast has burned
And all the milk has turned
And Captain Crunch is waving farewell
When the Big One finds you
May this song remind you
That they don't serve breakfast in hell

When the toast has burned
And all the milk has turned
And Captain Crunch is waving farewell
When the Big One finds you
May this song remind you
That they don't serve breakfast in hell