It's kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels, how does she get in and out of tubs
I hope she doesn't get mad, I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
'cause we think that she's totally rad, she's Nubs

No fingers no toes she doesn't own elbows, no phalanges no knobby knees to knock
She doesn't need knuckles or hands to go see punk rock bands, she's always in the stands, she's Nubs
She can't pick up a phone, she can't get dressed alone, she's got no funny bone, she's Nubs
No shoes no feet but we sure do think she's neat, she's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs

I asked her if she wanted a drink, I asked her if she liked Toronto, I asked her to go to the bar
But all she said was no thanks, no and no

It was time for her to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve, and told her I'd see her at the next club
She got into a pack, some guy put her on his back, she said goodbye and kinda waved her stub

She's got beautiful eyes, and breasts regular size, but without calves and thighs she's Nubs
It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed, when all you've got is a body and head, she's Nubs

She's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs, she's Nubs
She may not walk the walk, she may not like to talk, but bopy does she know how to rock
She's Nubs