How does the drunkest person on the bus
Wake up and manage to take such good care of us?
An honorable man that's impossible to hate
Even though his laugh to joke ratio is about one and eight

What is it about him, what sets him apart?
How does such a tiny person have such a big heart?
He only sometimes drops the ball
Like the six times he told the bus to leave
When one of us was at a petrol station shitting in a bathroom stall

That's David Pollack, alcoholic
Real dedication to inebriation
My friend David, master of kung fu
We're all singing this song just to say thank you
And one day we're gonna get you back

He's not a giant man but he represents some giant voices
But sometimes Alcopollack doesn't make the greatest choices
He might excel in tours and food, but he lacks a bit in tact
He told Dexter that his band sucks and he called Matt Freeman fat

He pissed off Graffin and insulted Tres Cool's first wife and fiancée
That's how he lost Bad Religion, the Offspring
Rancid, Pennywise, the Mad Caddies, Rise Against
But the one that hurt the most must've been Green Day

That's Alcopollack, philanthro-folic
Grappa all nighter, bar fight inciter
My friend David, for all your dedication
This song's for you to show our appreciation
But why do you always have to be on vacation?