I’ve seen you around, thought maybe we could be friends
Or maybe more than friends, but I guess that depends
Wanna learn about your family, to see if you and me could be
‘Cause until I learn more about you, I’m not so sure

I went to check out your place, to learn more about you
I peeked in your window, but all I could see
Was boxes and bags and old newspapers
Half-read books, and mail for ages
And your mom sitting in the middle of it like a queen

Because your mother is a hoarder
Her house is filled with cats and junk
The halls are packed to the walls with stuff
But who am I to judge, cause I’m a pretty good guy

I wanted to learn more about your reputation
To hear what the other girls thought about you
But this one girl I sometimes see you with
Is talking trash and all KINDS of shit
But she’s just jealous and I’m sure none of it’s true

Because your sister is a hornets nest
She’s full of hate and stinging lies
She talks a big game but she’s full of shame
But looking at you vs her, it’s really no surprise

I took the bus, to see where you go when you’re free
I saw you walk into a real nice community
But after you left I rang on the chime,
To discover where you spent so much time
But what happened next I really didn’t expect

I learned your grandma is a horney broad
She flashed me her chest when we first met
Tried to seduce me and I got to admit
I gave it a thought for a sec, but then I split


Please don’t think I’m a horrible guy
Cause I went to your house to try and spy
But I think that we could work it out
If we both would try

So the next time whenever you see me,
Come on and introduce yourself please,
Cause I think you’ll find out, I’m a pretty good guy