Not that racing heart
not those trembling hands
not that thunder and lightning in your guts
not the emotional rollercoaster ride
with someone who keeps you
wishing
waiting
wanting

nothing you can earn
nothing you can conquer
not appearance
not achievement
not that ideal
not that phantasy
not what you're afraid of
not what you think

maybe in the stride of your feet
as you walk away from what kills you inside
maybe when your inner conversation softens up
because you're listening

when you hold yourself through the pain
forgive yourself when you fail
when you take time for healing
and still
let yourself be
insecure and weak
when you need it

when you can sit right there
in the center of your breakable heart
you'll see
there's no real love
until you love yourself