September 9th, 2004, 6:34 pm
World came to a stop and bowed their heads as my new life begins
Parents crying, doctors crying, 'cause I look like a prophet twin
Doctors told my mama don't work out 'cause I was the hidden gem
18 years the 18th year saw life for what it was
Only I control what's in my life, no parent, friend, or blood
Treated my pain like funyun' crumbs, sweep under the rug
Demons turn to cockroaches, now my bed is filled with bugs
Can you feel me
I'm feeling a different feeling
Heart was growing holes on the inside
Went to the dentist, they can't give a filling
Doc can't prescribe a prescription
Pastor can't give out a scripture
Trauma not getting attention
Life not giving me adventures
365 days, 18 times
To really feel like I was living took til the 18th time
Cause I've been getting trained to be a slave since 2009
So when I'm thinking for myself, its too much to handle at one time
In 0'10, I wasn't 10 but would pretend that I was 10
Cause I was mama's only child I saw more than some average kids
All the fuss between my parents
Out in public, I'm comparing
If my parents still together, what it help what I inherit
But now I'm older, thanking God they're not together
Help me have perspective, thinking and thankful for what's for better
Molded me into a man, but no man is among my level
No more hanging out with young boys, I'm kicking it with rebels
Figured out that I was special in 2020
At 17, realized the world that's out there, probably for me
Maybe the different style of rap could change a culture or plenty
I understand if they don't let me in, it's not they resent me
It just means that they don't understand, never seen something different
When everything in the city is glorified for killing
Never mind, they're not gonna hear your boy till I get some millions
But God's gonna find a way to bring this to you when shit hit the ceiling
When shit hit the ceiling, I cried and I cried all night
My girlfriend asks me how I'm doing, I say I'm not alright
The pressure getting to me heavy, it's taking over my life
And then the sun had come out and I was feeling alright
And now I'm telling the world I'm 18, chasing my dreams
Telling you your dream is out there, it is not make-believe
It is not make-believe
Telling you your dream is out there it is not make-believe
What's going on voice memo's
It's lareezy checking in
Im on my bike ride right today and
You know I usually ride my bike to escape the thoughts at home
Like ever since I graduated and turned 18 it kind of just seem like
This life is just really real, like really real
I just be having that feeling like
I'm just like this lil kid in this big ol world
I don't know, maybe I just be trippin