She was tan, she was classy
From southern Tallahassee
And her daddy had the Kennedy hair
She graduated Vandy
Old money and a hand-me-down
Country club sorority flair
Woulda been a good wife
Woulda been a good life
Couple kids in some khaki shorts
She started talking 'bout marriage
And I knew three carats
Wouldn't shine in my rusty old Ford

Here's to all my near Mrs.
Give them all my best wishes
And close call kisses that never came through
Thank God I didn't ever say I do
Here's to all the lost chances
Last call romances
'Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through
I would've missed out on you

She was sweet, she was mean
From New Orleans, she tried to put me in her voodoo spell
A wildfire raging
A French Quarter cajun
And her brother did some time in jail
Now LA was pretty and New York was witty
And Chicago got too cold for me
I went all around the world
For a marrying girl
All the while she was in Tennessee

Here's to all my near Mrs.
Give them all my best wishes
And close call kisses that never came through
Thank God I didn't ever say I do
Here's to all the lost chances
Last call romances
'Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through
I would've missed out on you

Yeah
Come on now
Hey

Here's to all my near Mrs.
Give them all my best wishes
And close call kisses that never came through
Thank God I didn't ever say I do
Here's to all the lost chances
Last call romances
'Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through
I would've missed out on you
Yeah, I probably would of ended up something blue
And I would've missed out on you